Prayers for The Church

As a rule, our prayers are to be God-centered prayers, rather than devil and demon-centered or sin-focused prayers. This is the New Testament model of prayer. The major thrust of our prayers should be for a greater release of the ministry of the Holy Spirit and for the impartation of virtues such as love, holiness, unity, hope, and peace.

We can pray for the Church using the following scripture based prayers:

a) Pray for the presence of God to be evident in our Church services; for people to be saved, set free, healed, and refreshed by the Holy Spirit during the worship, preaching, and ministry times.

b) Pray that love will abound and that we God’s people will approve the things that God calls excellent {Philippians 1:9–10}.

c) Pray that the anointing of conviction will rest on the preaching of the Word so that both believers and unbelievers are impacted greatly {John 16:8}.

d) Pray for a spirit of holiness and love to prevail in the Church.

e) Pray for a great increase of the gifts of the Holy Spirit in the Church and the manifestation of these gifts through words of knowledge, words of wisdom, discerning of spirits, healings, and miracles.

f) Pray for a prophetic spirit to rest on preachers, worship teams, and ministry leaders, according to Acts 2:17.

g) Pray that the Holy Spirit will open more doors to minister to unbelievers and that He will prepare them to receive the Gospel {Colossians 3; 2 Thessalonians 3:1}.

h) Pray that the Holy Spirit will motivate more believers to share the gospel and give more believers a burden for evangelism {Matthew 9:37–38}.

i) Pray for the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of God, His will, and His ways to be given to leaders of Churches and the individual members {Ephesians 1:17}.

j) Pray that believers will be strengthened with might by the Holy Spirit in their inner man {Ephesians 3:16}.

k) Pray for unity among all the believers and all the families in the Church {John 17:21–23}.

l) Pray for an increase of the spirit of prayer to be released in the Church {Zechariah  12:10}.

m) Pray for every family member to be saved and healed and for every family to prosper with secure, steady jobs (3 John 2).

n) If we pray consistently and faithfully in this manner for the Church in our cities, over time we will see both the Church and the cities transformed before our eyes.

New Testament Church Prayer Themes

The majority of the prayers and promises in the Bible (New Testament) fit into one of three general prayer themes: gifts of the Holy Spirit, the fruit of the Holy Spirit and the wisdom of the Holy Spirit.

1) The gifts of the Holy Spirit: 
Praying for a greater release of the gifts of the Spirit involves praying for the release of God’s power, including His supernatural favor, provision, and protection. We ask for a greater measure of God’s power to be manifest in our lives. {1 Corinthians 12:7-11}

2) The fruit of the Holy Spirit: 
Praying for a greater release of the fruit of the Spirit refers to asking for God’s character to be formed in the lives. We ask that the fullness of the fruit of the Spirit formed in us. {Galatians 5:22-23}

3) The wisdom of the Holy Spirit: 
When we pray for a greater release of the wisdom of the Spirit, we are asking for an increase of understanding and insight into God’s plans, God's will, and God's Word. {Ephesians 1:17-19}

So we pray:
a) that the fruit of the Holy Spirit or godly character to be established in us, as the Spirit reveals the knowledge of God, and releases more of the beauty, love and fear of the Lord to us.

b) that the wisdom of God to be given to us, so we would walk in God’s will, plan and purpose for our lives.

c) that the gifts of the Holy Spirit, the supernatural power, favor, and protection of God, to be released to and through our lives.

Steps to Enjoying God

Here are some practical things that you can do to help you enjoy God:

1) Settle all controversies with God.

2) Declare your faith at the start of each day.

3) Think rightly about yourself.

4) Deal with sin and guilt.

5) Obey God

6) Faithfully attend and support a local God and Jesus Christ-honoring, Bible teaching and preaching Church.

7) Rejoice in God's grace.

8) Praise Him

9) Set your affections on things above.

10) Be content with God and what God provides for you.

11) Bring God into everything.

12) Get your priorities right.

Enjoying God

God wants to make Himself known to us so that we may find perfect joy and delight in Him. He wants our confidence and love so that we are completely comfortable with His indwelling presence; enjoying Him, and enjoying His love. It is possible to be a child of God and truly love the Lord, and not know God's attitude toward you. Many of God's dear children think that God is continually displeased with them, or at least disappointed in them. We think our many faults and failures, can somehow stop God from loving us. Regardless of what we may think about ourselves, God takes pleasure in His people. The Bible says, "The Lord takes pleasure in them that fear (worship) Him, in those that hope in His mercy." (Psalm 147:11)

This is the chief aim of man: to glorify God and enjoy Him forever. To enjoy God, two things are essential:

(1) We must know and believe He loves us.

(2) We must love Him.

We must become convinced of the following relative to our relationship with the Father God:

1) He sees us in Christ, and He loves us.

2) His love is Sovereign.

3) His love is Eternal.

4) His love is Personal.

5) His love is Unconditional.

6) His love is Unchanging.

7) We do not know His love by our circumstances.

8) We know His love by Christ's death on the cross.

9) We know His love by the indwelling Holy Spirit.

10) He wants to deliver us from the bondage of fear.

11) His truth sets us free.

God loves each of us as if there were only one of us. (Augustine)

The Prayer of Petition for the Church

The prayer of petition is a request that includes our personal needs and the needs of others. In our petitions, we ask God for whatever concerns us (physical (natural), psychological, spiritual, emotional).

Prayers of petition (request) are made to Father God.  The prayer of petition should be intentional on our part for the purpose of appropriating God’s gifts and resources in order for us to fulfill His purposes by working in and through us.  If our motives for asking are wrong, we won’t receive. This is in essence what James meant when he said (paraphrasing) we ask and don’t receive because we ask “amiss” (improperly, wrongly), namely for selfish reasons (James 4:2-3).  

The prayer of petition is a privileged element of prayer; therefore, we must be mindful that what we’re requesting (asking) God for is in accordance with His will and purpose. Ultimately, the prayer of petition is a privilege that comes with being in relationship with a loving and caring Father God.

Let's pray together, petitioning God for the following:
1) Father, strengthen us spiritually.
2) Father, dwell in our hearts through faith. 
3) Father, root and ground us in love.
4) Father, give us spiritual understanding; an understanding of Your love and Jesus' love for us.
5) Father, fill us with Yourself; all that You are.

Loving God : The First Commandment

Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. {Matthew 22:37-38}

This is the first and great commandment,

as the Father hath loved me, so have I loved you: continue ye in my love. {John 15:9}

I. THE CALL TO BE JOINED TO JESUS IN LOVE

a) The Holy Spirit’s first agenda is to establish the first commandment in the Church. 

b) God's eternal purpose for creation included providing a loving family for Himself that includes an eternal companion for His Son—a Bride (the Church).

c) We must love God on His terms. A core issue today in the Church is how we define love.

II. THE FIRST AND GREAT COMMANDMENT

a) The First: Jesus did not call this the first option, but the first command.

b) The Great: Cultivating love for Jesus has the greatest impact on God’s heart and our heart.

III. LOVE GOD WITH ALL OUR HEART

a) Love God with all our heart: We are to engage our emotions in our love for God instead of being content with dutiful service while living disengaged from our relationship with Him.

b) We can “set” our love or affections on anything that we choose. Our emotions eventually follow whatever we set ourselves to pursue.

c) David made a choice to set his heart to love God. He determined to love God. I will love You, O LORD, my strength. (Psalm 18:1)

IV. LOVE GOD WITH ALL OUR MIND

a) Love God with all our mind: We fill our mind with that which inspires love for God instead of that which diminishes it.

b) We love God with our mind by taking the time to fill our mind with the Word so that we come into agreement with the truth about Him.

V. LOVE GOD WITH ALL OUR STRENGTH

a) Love God with all our strength: We are to love God with our natural resources (time, money, energy, talents, words, and influence).

b) God cares about the love we show Him when we invest our strength into our relationship with Him and in helping others to love Him. 

VI. LOVE GOD WITH ALL OUR SOUL

a) Love God with all our soul: We realign our identity to be based on our relationship with God instead of on our accomplishments and the recognition we receive.

b) When we get our identity from our accomplishments and recognition, we end up in an emotional storm of preoccupation with vanity and pride; we most naturally see our accomplishments as very small and unimportant, causing us to feel rejected and neglected by people.

c) We are to define our primary success in life as being those who are loved by God and who love God. 

d) Our identity must be established upon being loved by God and in loving Him in response.

e) The reach of our heart to love Him moves Him.

Understanding Humility

But He giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud but giveth grace unto the humble. (James 4:6)

Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder. Yea, all of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble. (1 Peter 5:5)

Humility is a personal quality which causes an individual to show their dependence on God and respect for others.

Pride is undue confidence in and attention to one's own skills, accomplishments, possessions, or position.

Arrogance is an overt display of one’s sense of self-importance.

Many people have the wrong idea about humility, or being humble. God says when you are humble, you are free from pride and arrogance. You know that in your flesh you are inadequate, yet you also know who you are in Jesus Christ. You don't need to defend yourself when you understand what the Bible says about humility, for you know who you are in Jesus Christ. You can be a peacemaker without needing to fight for your rights. You can walk humbly in the power of the Holy Spirit, not in your own strength.

Godly humility is being comfortable with who you are in the Lord and therefore putting others first. The picture of humility in the Bible is one of a strong person who loves others, not someone who is weak. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. (Philippians 2:3) Humility also is recognizing that you need God’s help, knowing you can’t truly succeed in your own strength. It is thanking God for your talents and gifts, and giving Him credit for your accomplishments. It is being comfortable with who you are in Christ and seeking to build others up, not yourself. It is gratefully walking in God’s grace, love, and forgiveness.
In the Bible, Jesus gives us a good example of humility in action. Although He was the son of God, He was gentle and humble--and He was strong. I am gentle and humble in heart. (Matthew 11:29)

Our attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made Himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to death—even death on a cross! (Philippians 2:5-8)

Humility in action
Many people think humility means being weak or passive. That's not God's message to us. The following statements show the power in humility:
1) You can defuse arguments when you're humble.
You don't need to stand up for yourself in an angry manner. And you don't have to win every argument. A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. (Proverbs 15:1)

2) You can handle unfair treatment peacefully when you're humble.
You can respond to unfair treatment without becoming bitter. Godly humility means you do not feel a need for vengeance or revenge. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. (Ephesians 4:31-32)

3) You do not have to pretend when you're humble.
When you understand God and humility, you don't need to act like a big shot. The better you know God, the less you have to prove. You can eat "humble pie" without being crushed when you're humble.

4) When you're humble, you can respond to and learn from criticism without becoming defensive, whether it is deserved or not deserved.  You can be aware of your failures without being emotionally devastated.

5) You can ask for forgiveness when you're humble.
Even if you think you are only one percent wrong, you can easily apologize for what you did wrong.
Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First, go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift. (Matthew 5:23-24)

6) You can speak with the right attitude when you're humble.
You can talk courteously and lovingly, regardless of the situation, even if you need to be firm or take strong action. Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. (Ephesians 4:29)

Here 9 maxims regarding humility and arrogance:

Humility is strong; arrogance is weak.

Humility wants to learn; arrogance already knows.

Humility promotes godly values; arrogance looks for the easy way out and seeks the advantage.

Humility listens; arrogance talks.

Humility desires to serve; arrogance is self-serving.

Humility builds and strengthens others; arrogance builds itself.

Humility opens hearts; arrogance builds walls.

Humility unites; arrogance divides.

Humility connects; arrogance disconnects.

10 Reasons Why Forgiveness Is Important!!!

1) Unforgiveness stands between you and God. Why? Because we are all sinners, and through grace, God has forgiven us and sees us as righteous. If God can forgive us all the awful things we’ve done, we can forgive others.

2) Forgiveness is good for you. If you harbor unforgiveness you will be holding onto bitterness and thinking badly of others, sinning, and opening a door to the enemy to get into your life and cause havoc.

3) Forgiveness is for your benefit, not for the benefit of the person you are forgiving. As long as you are feeling like a victim, you are carrying a heavy burden. Forgiveness allows you to put the burden down. And simply walk away from it. Free.

4) Choosing not to forgive keeps you stuck in the past, preventing you from moving forward. Without forgiveness, you are constantly stuck in the past. Many people waste years of their lives in bitterness and resentment when they could, through forgiveness, have lived that time in joy.

5) Forgiving helps you grow spiritually. Once you have forgiven anyone in your life you feel has harmed you,you suddenly find you have more time for thinking good productive and useful happy thoughts instead of negative and useless self-centered complaining.

6) When you forgive the healing beings. Holding onto resentment and not forgiving is sinful and seems to stand in the way of physical wellness.

7) Forgiveness is a free gift! Free to give and to receive.

8) Forgiveness purifies your spirit.

9) You are empowered when you forgive. Forgiving those who have done you wrong gives you the power back. It unbinds you from the effects of that transgression and opens the door to the Lord to deal with the situation.

10) Jesus told us to forgive. He suffered and died and was resurrected so that we could have forgiveness.

The authority is in your mouth!!!

Then said He unto the disciples, It is impossible but that offences will come: but woe unto him, through whom they come! It were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he cast into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones. Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him. And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him. And the apostles said unto the Lord, Increase our faith. And the Lord said, If ye had faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye might say unto this sycamine tree, be thou plucked up by the root, and be thou planted in the sea; and it should obey you. {Luke 17:1-6} (KJV)

In Luke 17:6, Jesus taught His disciples about bitterness, and unforgiveness, and how to remove these evil forces from one's life. As an illustration, Jesus likened these forces to the sycamine tree that was so well known in that part of the world.

When you understand everything that is connected to the sycamine tree, you'll know exactly why Jesus chose to use this tree as an example of bitterness and unforgiveness in Luke 17:6. Keep in mind that Jesus was speaking of getting rid of bitterness and unforgiveness. In Luke 17:3, He told the disciples that they needed to forgive those who sinned against them. He then took it to the maximum in Luke 17:4 by saying that even if a brother or sister does something wrong seven times in one day and is each time truly repentant, they were to keep on forgiving that offending brother. Forgiving once is already a challenge for most people. But to forgive someone seven times in one day almost sounds impossible. It must have sounded preposterous to the disciples as well, for they said, "…Lord, Increase our faith" (Luke 17:5). This statement was the equivalent of their saying, "Lord, we don't know if we have enough faith to forgive so many times in one day. You'll have to increase our faith if we're going to do this seven times in one day!"

As you look at the four characteristics of the sycamine tree listed below, you will comprehend why Jesus used this particular tree in this context.

1) The sycamine tree had a very large and deep root structure.

Like the sycamine tree, bitterness and unforgiveness must be dealt with clear to the roots, or they will keep springing up again and again. The roots of bitterness and unforgiveness go down deep into the human soul, fed by any offense that lies hidden in the soil of the heart. That hidden source of offense will cause these evil forces to resurface in a person's life over and over again. It will take a serious decision for that person to rip those roots of bitterness and offense out of his heart once and for all so they can't grow back in the future.

2) The sycamine tree's wood was the preferred wood for building caskets.

In Egypt and the Middle East, the sycamine tree was considered to be the preferred wood for building caskets and coffins. It grew quickly and in nearly any environment, making it accessible in many different places. Again, we can see why this illustration of the sycamine tree is so ideal for portraying bitterness and unforgiveness. Just as the sycamine tree grew very quickly, so does bitterness and unforgiveness. In fact, it doesn't take too long at all for these evil forces to get out of control and start taking over the whole place! When these fast-growing and ugly attitudes are allowed to grow freely, they not only spoil the condition of your own heart, but they ruin your relationships with other people.

Also, just as the sycamine tree grew easily in every environment, so does bitterness. It doesn't matter where people are from, where they live, what kind of cultural background they grew up in, or what level of society they belong to - bitterness and unforgiveness grow in human hearts every­where, for they are universal in their scope of evil influence.

If you permit bitterness and unforgiveness to grow in your life, it won't be long until these attitudes have killed your joy, stolen your peace, and canceled out your spiritual life!

3) The sycamine tree produced a fig that was very bitter to eat.

The sycamine tree, and the mulberry tree were very similar in appearance; the two trees even produced a fruit that looked identical. However, the fruit of the sycamine tree was extremely bitter. Its fruit looked just as luscious and delicious as a mulberry fig. But when a person tasted the fruit of the sycamine fig, he or she discovered that it was horribly bitter. Jesus lets us know that like the sycamine fruit, the fruit of bitterness and unforgiveness is bitter, tart, and pungent. Like the fig, most people who are bitter and filled with unforgiveness chew on their feelings for a long time. They nibble on bitterness for a while; then they pause to digest what they've eaten. After they have reflected deeply on their offense, they return to the memory table to start nibbling on bitterness again, taking one little bite, then another little bite, then another. As they continue to think and meditate on their offense (hurt), they internalize their bitter feelings toward those who have offended them. In the end, their perpetual nibbling on the poisonous fruit of bit­terness makes them bitter and sour.

4) The sycamine tree was pollinated only by wasps.

It is very interesting to note that the sycamine tree was not naturally pollinated. The pollination process was only initiated when a wasp stuck its stinger right into the heart of the fruit. The tree, and its fruit had to be "stung" in order to be reproduced. Think of how many times you have heard a bitter person say: "I've been hurt by that person once, but I'm not going to be hurt again! What he did hurt me so badly that I'll never let him get close enough to hurt me again!" It is likely that people who make such a statement have been "hurt or stung" by a situation that the devil especially devised to pollinate their hearts and souls with bitterness and unforgiveness. When a person talks like this, you can know for sure that they have been hurt and bitterness has stung them!

Jesus said that in order to rid this nuisance from one's life, a person must have faith the size of “a grain of mustard seed.” Jesus uses the example of a "mustard" seed in this example. The small mustard plant grows from a tiny, miniscule seed. By using this word, Jesus was telling His disciples that a great amount of faith is not needed to deal with bitterness and unforgiveness. Any person who has even a tiny measure of faith can speak to bitterness and unforgiveness and command them to leave, if that is really the desire of their heart.

So, how do you get rid of bitternesss and unforgiveness? Speak to them, and command them to leave you. The authority is in your mouth!

Bitterness (Part 2)

A definition of bitterness: holding on to or showing feelings of intense (strong) animosity (hatred, anger), resentment or vindictiveness (wanting to get back at someone). Some other words that describe bitterness are: merciless, unforgiving, holding a grudge.

All bitterness starts out as hurt, and your emotional pain may well relate to viewing whomever (or whatever) provoked this hurt (generally, your assumed “perpetrator”) as having malicious intent. Bitterness is one of the most destructive and toxic of human emotions; an irritable state of mind which produces harsh and hard opinions of others. Bitterness is also described as an attitude resulting from something that is difficult to accept.

Bitterness starts out small; hurt burrows its way into our hearts. We replay it in our minds, we retell our hurts to any available listener, including each sordid detail. We enlist support, pushing us further into our resentment. We hear the offending person's name and cringe. We decipher the offense as intentional and our offender as full of spite. We look for other reasons, both real or imagined, to dislike our offender. With each new piece of information, we form another layer of bitterness.

When you are offended or disappointed by others, and allow the hurt to germinate in your heart, bitterness and resentment will take root. Characterized by an unforgiving spirit and generally negative, critical attitude, bitterness and resentment are sinful and self-defeating. They will color your conscious and unconscious thoughts and actions. Allowed to fester, they will destroy and kill. However, they can be dispelled with love.

3) If you allow bitterness a place in your heart, it will eventually come out of your mouth in murmuring, and complaining.

J) Job complains to his friends.
Oh that my grief were throughly weighed, and my calamity laid in the balances together! For now it would be heavier than the sand of the sea: therefore my words are swallowed up [have been rash]. {Job 6:2-3}

K) Constant complaining can lead to depression.
My soul is weary of my life; I will leave my complaint upon myself; I will speak in the bitterness of my soul. {Job 10:1}

L) Job's self-righteousness caused him to become bitter against God, thinking he knew better.
Then Job answered and said, even today is my complaint bitter: my stroke is heavier than my groaning. Oh that I knew where I might find Him! That I might come even to His seat! I would order my cause before Him, and fill my mouth with arguments. {Job 23:1-4}

4) The Lord, in His love, can deliver you from the sin of bitterness. Here are some examples of three who overcame it, and one who didn't:
M) Joseph: his brothers had despised him; they brutally sold him into slavery and lied to their father that he had been killed by a wild animal; he spent time in prison on false charges of rape; was left there for two years longer because Pharaoh's forgetful chief butler forgot his promise to help get Joseph out of jail. In spite of all this, Joseph reconciled with his brothers: {Genesis 45:3-15}
N) Hannah: mother of Samuel, was sorely provoked every year by Peninnah, the second wife of her husband, Elkanah. Peninnah had children and purposely tried to make Hannah feel badly because she had no children. After years of Peninnah doing this, Hannah, having become bitter, not eating well and feeling that she somehow was not blessed of the Lord, took her bitterness to the Lord in desperate prayer, openly confessing her grief, both to the Lord, and to Eli, the priest, and finally a great victory was one, first by faith, followed by the Lord's blessings. {Samuel 1:10}
O) King Hezekiah: grew bitter during a nearly fatal illness. During his worst days, he felt the Lord was cutting him off. Yet his desperate prayer and tears brought eventual healing and victory. {Isaiah 38:10-17}
P) Absalom: son of King David, bitterly hated his half-brother, Amnon, for having raped Tamar, Absalom's full sister. This unbridled bitterness grew for two years until Absalom had Amnon killed. {2 Samuel 13:22}

5) Bitterness stems from feelings of anger and an unforgiving attitude towards others.

Q) If we are truly hungry to learn from the Lord, even bitter experiences are looked upon as "blessings in disguise."
The full soul loatheth an honeycomb; but to the hungry soul every bitter thing is sweet. {Proverbs 27:7}

R) Bitterness is also described as the feelings resulting from something that is difficult to accept; so it's important to always remember that the Lord has a good purpose in everything that He allows to happen to us.
We know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose. {Romans 8:28}

S) God's Word often speaks of "renewing our minds," which implies letting go of the old; particularly any past grievances, and bitterness.
And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. {Romans 12:2}

T) Going to bed in anger gives place to the Devil.
Let not the sun go down upon your wrath; Neither give place to the Devil.{Ephesians 4:26b, 27}

U) Bitterness is also caused by holding on to bad or angry feelings about someone or something that happened, but the Lord tells us to forget the things that are past.
Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before. {Philippians 3:13}

Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. {Colossians 3:13}

W) If you're finding it difficult to forgive the people that hurt you, begin to pray for them. You'll find it is impossible to be unforgiving toward those you're praying for.

If you need forgiveness, and you need to forgive, here’s a simple prayer:
                      (insert the name of the person in the blanks)

Father, I acknowledge that I've held resentment and bitterness against __________. I confess this as sin and ask you to forgive me. I forgive __________. Remind me, Lord, not to hold any more resentments, but rather to love this person. Father, I ask you to forgive ___________ also. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Bitterness (Part 1)

A definition of bitterness: holding on to or showing feelings of intense (strong) animosity (hatred, anger), resentment or vindictiveness (wanting to get back at someone). Some other words that describe bitterness are: merciless, unforgiving, holding a grudge. 

All bitterness starts out as hurt, and your emotional pain may well relate to viewing whomever (or whatever) provoked this hurt (generally, your assumed “perpetrator”) as having malicious intent. Bitterness is one of the most destructive and toxic of human emotions; an irritable state of mind which produces harsh and hard opinions of others. Bitterness is also described as an attitude resulting from something that is difficult to accept. 

When you are offended or disappointed by others, and allow the hurt to germinate in your heart, bitterness and resentment will take root. Characterized by an unforgiving spirit and generally negative, critical attitude, bitterness and resentment are sinful and self-defeating. They will color your conscious and unconscious thoughts and actions. Allowed to fester, they will destroy and kill. However, they can be dispelled with love.

1) God's Word warns us against the dangers of bitterness.

A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city: and their contentions are like the bars of a castle. {Proverbs 18:19}

A) When we allow ourselves to become bitter against others, we create walls difficult to overcome, which isolate us. 

Repent therefore of this thy wickedness, and pray God if perhaps the thought of thine heart may be forgiven thee. For I perceive that thou art in the gall [poison] of bitterness, and in the bond of iniquity. {Acts 8:22,23}

B) Bitterness is a sin that we must repent of.

Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled [contaminated].{Hebrews 12:15}

C) Be on guard against bitterness, because it can do much harm to you, and others.

If ye have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not [don't brag about it.], and lie not against the truth.{James 3:14}

2) Do not carry or keep bitterness, but replace it with love, kindness, and forgiveness.

Thou shalt not avenge, nor bear [carry or keep] any grudge [bitterness] against the children of thy people, but thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself: I am the Lord.{Leviticus 19:18}

He that covereth a transgression seeketh love; but he that repeateth [harps about] a matter separateth very [true] friends.{Proverbs 17:9}

D) Love can overcome bitterness, however, be careful opening up an old wound (hurt). It's better to forgive.

For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.{Matthew 6:14,15}

So likewise shall My Heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not everyone his brother their trespasses.{Matthew 18:23-35}

E) Jesus made it clear, that we will suffer if we refuse to sincerely forgive others, when we know Jesus has had mercy on our sins.

Therefore thou art inexcusable, O man, whosoever thou art that judgest: for wherein thou judgest another, thou condemnest thyself; for thou that judgest doest the same things. But we are sure that the judgment of God is according to truth against them which commit such things. And thinkest thou this, O man, that judgest them which do such things, and doest the same, that thou shalt escape the judgment of God? Or despisest thou the riches of His goodness and forbearance and longsuffering; not knowing that the goodness of God leadeth thee to repentance? But after thy hardness and impenitent heart treasurest up unto thyself wrath [you are saving up terrible punishment for yourselves] against the Day of Wrath and revelation of the righteous judgment of God; who will render to every man according to his deeds.{Romans 2:1-6} 

F) Our hypocritical, judgmental self-righteousness can cause us to harbor bitterness, while feeling justified in doing so, we may find ourselves experiencing the correction of God.

Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour [shouting or crying], and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice [desire to do harm]: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.{Ephesians 4:31,32}

And above all things have fervent love among yourselves: for love shall cover the multitude of sins.{1 Peter 4:8}

G) Unforgiveness is one of the poisons the enemy (Satan) uses against God's people, and it is probably the deadliest poison a person can take. 

H) Even if someone has mistreated or wronged you, God's love in you, is love enough to forgive.

I) Ask God to forgive you for being bitter and resentful. Then ask Him to forgive anyone who may have hurt you; toward whom you are bitter or resentful, even as He (God) forgives you. 

Here’s a simple prayer (insert the name of the person in the blanks):
Father, I acknowledge that I've held resentment and bitterness against __________. I confess this as sin and ask you to forgive me. I forgive __________. Remind me, Lord, not to hold any more resentments, but rather to love this person. Father, I ask you to forgive ___________ also. 
Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Put off and Put away!

Ephesians 4:31-32 (KJV) 
Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice, and be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you. 

A believer has put off the old self which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires (Ephesians 4:17-19). Self-centered lusts are deceitful because they promise joy but fail to provide it. The believer must put on the new self (man) which has been created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness, which is based on truth (v. 24). This truth contrasts with the deceitfulness of lustful living (vv. 14-15). Believers have been made new in the attitude of their minds; they are no longer futile in their thinking, darkened in their understanding, and ignorant (vv. 18-19). Believers are new people in Christ, and they can no longer live as Gentiles (those without God).

In the text of Ephesians 4:31, Paul lists sins that grieve the Holy Spirit, and prevent us from being filled with the Holy Spirit. 

1) We must empty ourselves of bitterness, which is the opposite of forgiveness. Bitterness is anger, and disappointment at being wronged, treated unfairly; resentment.

2) We must also empty ourselves of all wrath, or rage, which is a violent outburst of frustration. Wrath is the outward manifestation of anger. Wrath is anger let loose. 

3) Clamour means “loud cry” and refers to loud insults. It includes shouting, or yelling, in anger, which is the first sign we are losing control, and letting the evil one fill, or control, us.

4) Evil speaking means saying something to damage one’s character or reputation. 

5) To be filled with the Holy Spirit, we must also empty ourselves of all malice, which is intent to harm or hurt someone with words or actions. 

When we empty ourselves of all these evil emotions, there will be a vacuum that can be filled by the Holy Spirit. 

Learning Christ

Ephesians 4:17-24 (NKJV)
This I say, therefore, and testify in the Lord, that you should no longer walk as the rest of the Gentiles walk, in the futility of their mind, having their understanding darkened, being alienated from the life of God, because of the ignorance that is in them, because of the blindness of their heart; who, being past feeling, have given themselves over to lewdness, to work all uncleanness with greediness. But you have not so learned Christ, if indeed you have heard Him and have been taught by Him, as the truth is in Jesus: that you put off, concerning your former conduct, the old man which grows corrupt according to the deceitful lusts, and be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and that you put on the new man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness.

The Bible was written to be obeyed, and not simply studied, and this is why the words “therefore” and “wherefore” are repeated so often in the second half of Ephesians (4:1, 17, 25; 5:1, 7, 14, 17, 24). Paul was saying, “Here is what Christ has done for you. Now, in the light of this, here is what we ought to do for Christ.” We are to be doers of the Word, and not hearers only (James 1:22). The fact that we have been called in Christ (Ephesians 1:18) ought to motivate us to walk in unity (Ephesians 4:1-16). And the fact that we have been raised from the dead (Ephesians 2:1-10) should motivate us to walk in purity (Ephesians 4:17-5:17), or, as Paul told the Romans, “walk in newness of life” (Romans 6:4). We are alive in Christ, not dead in sins; therefore “put off the old man… and put on the new man (Ephesians 4:22, 24).

“The Admonition” (Ephesians 4:17-19)
There are some negatives in the Christian life, and here is one of them: “Walk not as other Gentiles walk.” The Christian is not to imitate the life of the unsaved people around him or her. They are “dead in trespasses and sins” (Ephesians 2:1), while they have been raised from the dead and been given eternal life in Christ. Paul explains the differences between the saved and the unsaved.

To begin with, Christians think differently from unsaved people. Note the emphasis here on thinking: mind (Ephesians 4:17, 23), understanding (Ephesians 4:18), ignorance (Ephesians 4:18), “learned Christ” (Ephesians 4:20). Salvation begins with repentance, which is a change of mind. The whole outlook of a person changes when he or she trust Christ, including their values, goals, and interpretation of life. What is wrong with the mind of the unsaved person? For one thing, his or her thinking is “vain” (futile). It leads to no substantial purpose. Since they do not know God, they cannot truly understand the world around them , nor can they understand their self. The sad story is told in Romans 1:21-25. Our world today possesses a great deal of knowledge, but very little wisdom.

The unsaved person’s thinking is futile because it is darkened. They think they’re enlightened because they reject the Bible, and believe the latest philosophies, when in reality they’re in the dark. “Professing themselves to be wise, they become fools” (Romans 1:22). But they think they are wise. Satan has blinded the minds of the unsaved (2 Corinthians 4:3-6) because he does not want them to see the truth in Jesus Christ. It is not simply that their eyes are blinded so they cannot see, but that their minds are darkened so that they cannot think straight about spiritual matters.

Of course, the unsaved person is dead because of their spiritual ignorance. The truth and the life go together. If you believe God’s truth, then you receive God’s life. But, you would think that the unbeliever would do their best to get out of this terrible spiritual plight. Unfortunately, the hardness of their heart enslaves them. They are “past feeling” because they have given themselves over to sin that sin controls them. (Read Romans 1:18-32 for a vivid expansion of these three brief verses)

The Christian cannot pattern their self after the unsaved person, because the Christian has experienced a miracle of being raised from the dead. Their life is not futile, but purposeful. Their mind is filled with the light of God’s Word, and their heart with the fullness of God’s life. They give their bodies to God as an instrument of righteousness (Romans 6:13), and not to sin for the satisfaction of their own selfish lusts. In every way, the believer is different from the unbeliever, and therefore the admonition: “Walk not.”

“The Argument” (Ephesians 4:20-24)
Paul reinforced his admonition with an argument from the spiritual experience of his readers. Again the emphasis is on the mind, or the outlook, of the believer. “But ye have not so learned Christ” (Ephesians 4:20). He did not say “learned about Christ,” because it is possible to learn about Christ and never be saved. To “learn Christ” means to have a personal relationship to Christ so that you get to know Him better each day. You can learn about Sir Winston Churchill by reading books and can secure books about his life. But you can never learn him because he is dead. Jesus Christ is alive! Therefore, I can “learn Christ” through a personal fellowship with Him.

This fellowship is based on the Word of God. You can be taught “the truth” as it is in Jesus Christ. The better you understand the Word of God, the better you know the Son of God, for the whole Bible is a revelation of the Lord Jesus Christ (Luke 24:27; John 5:39). The unsaved person is spiritually ignorant, while the Christian is intelligent in the things of the Word. And the unsaved man or woman does not know Christ, while the believer grows in their personal knowledge of Christ day by day. We have believed the truth; we have received the life; therefore, we will walk “in the way” and not walk after the example of the unsaved world. But, this experience of salvation goes much deeper than this, for it has resulted in a whole new position before God.

The old man (the former life) has been put away, and we can now walk in newness of life through Christ. Ephesians 4:22-24 is a summary of Romans 5-8, where Paul explained the believer’s identification with Christ in death, burial, and resurrection. He also dealt with this in Ephesians 2:4-6, as well as in Colossians 3. As Christians, we have not simply changed our minds. We have totally changed our citizenship. We belong to God’s “new creation” in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17), and therefore, the ideas and desires of the old creation no longer should control our lives.

The simplest illustration of this great truth is given in John 11, the resurrection of Lazarus. Our Lord’s friend, Lazarus, had been in the grave four days when Jesus and His disciples arrived at Bethany, and even Martha admitted that, by now, the decaying body would smell (John 11:39). But Jesus spoke the word and Lazarus came forth alive, an illustration of John 5:24. Notice our Lord’s next words, “Loose him, and let him go” (John 11:44). Take off the graveclothes! Lazarus no longer belonged to the old dominion of death, for he was now alive. Why go about wearing graveclothes? Take off the old and put on the new! This was Paul’s argument; you no longer belong to the old corruption of sin; you belong to the new creation in Christ. Take off the graveclothes! How do we do this? “Be renewed in the spirit of your mind” (Ephesians 4:23).

Conversion is a crisis that leads to a process. Through Christ, once and for all, we have been given a new position in His new creation, but day by day, we must by faith appropriate what He has given us. The Word of God renews the mind as we surrender our all to Him (Romans 12:1-2). “Sanctify them through Thy truth: Thy Word is truth” (John 17:17). As the mind understands the truth of God’s Word, it is gradually transformed by the Spirit, and this renewal leads to a changed life.

Physically, you are what you eat, but spiritually, you are what you think. “As he thinketh in his heart, so is he” (Proverbs 23:7). This is why it is important for us as Christians to spend time daily meditating on the Word, praying, and fellowshipping with Christ.